This face ---> :| is the story of my life.

So BC's Facebook went to 'in a relationship'. Not gonna lie. I'm a little bit crestfallen.

On the bright side, 'lucre' (meaning money or profit) , the word of the day (March 30th) on dictionary.com just got pronounced as "loo-c*phlem*" in my head rather than "loo-ker" like it was supposed to be. Thank you French. Just kidding. But only about the bright side thing.

But anyways (see the story before I started talking about lucre) it doesn't really matter because I don't like him. So there. Although I don't ever really feel the need to completely contain myself when I'm around him (not in a weird gross way, just in a...we can talk about how a Pokemon evolves without me feeling like I shouldn't act like such a nerd or something sort of way). So who the hell knows? Obviously not me. Either way it's like a little baby ember of like. Not a big fire of like.

All I've decided is that for me, love (or like, or even infatuation. And it doesn't even have to be LOVE love. It can be like....friend love) is like a hole. A DEEP hole with unstable edges. It's generally pretty easy for me (especially being a klutz) to fall into the hole, and not quite so easy to get back out. Maybe that's why I have trust problems. Because it's not like I've ever been REALLY hurt by someone.

So today's motto is:
WHO THE HELL KNOWS


Peace like a River ;)
Raven

If this kid continues to bring a harmonica to class, I will shove it down his throat.

The sensibility of e.e. Cummings is debatable in the first place, but trying to make sense of it and translate with spotty bilingual skills doesnt really help.

Obviously my mental condition is failing and my emotions are too terribly influenced by TV shows. When did I get so rediculous?

I Gotta Feelin...

So I just got back from my friend Tulsa's birthday party. It was a big fancy event and it was really nice and she looked gorgeous (she's super pretty anyways and I kinda feel like a loser but that's beside the point) you know, fancy dress fancy hair...everything. So it was like dinner and then a dance party. It was decent even though I don't really like dancing and half the time I felt super awkward. I didn't really get to talk to her that much since she spent a lot of the night with K, her bff and also mingling with other peeps. Which is fine because I don't need her to babysit me but we haven't really hung out (which I kinda feel like is my fault) so that was kind of a bummer. Also I feel bad because I didn't have time to wrap her gift so I didn't bring it to the party. That's me....the responsible one. (Loser)
Also the guy she likes asked her out so now she has a beau :)
Back to the Loser Club we go. As in the super lame 'our parties are really just 6 of us watching movies' single goody good lame-o club. (Tulsa is the cool one) It only sort of makes me feel like a panicky desperate teenager acting like life is running out on them because I am ridiculously boring. Maybe I'll just go on a drinking partying guy binge this summer or something. Maybe.

I still haven't done anything for my birthday (as I'm reminded constantly by my friends) but I'll probably (maybe) do something when M the exchange student comes. That'd be cool wouldn't it? It wouldn't be nearly as extravagant but it could be OK. It'd just be like....a day party with a buncha people. Even Boy. And whoever else I feel like. Maybe even BC! But we'd have to see about that one. I feel like it'd just seem awkward to him. But he could talk to M since he speaks French and it'd be all good. WOOPEEE! But I have to clear it by my madre so we'll see how THAT goes. Because she's OH so gracious.

Peace like a River ;)
Raven

Funny how i cant drive to xy and z but i can drive to lil caesars and take my sister to her friend's house? Mmk mom.

Even though kissing is such a big deal for many cultures around the world, you know, first kiss freak out and the ever reoccurring "WELL DID YOU KISS?" sort of questions....

Did you know that on average we spend about two whole weeks of our life kissing, and we spend equally as much time sitting at red lights?  (versus the like double-digits in years we spend sleeping and such, but that's beside the point.) Red lights are a pretty...minor thing...And they share the same time amount. Just something to think about.

I would ask how my 91% turned into a 98%, but frankly I don't care.

If dimples are a dominant gene, then why are they so damn cute?

Oh the things you can think.

I should make a machine to make up my mind. And to get rid of some of these thoughts that virulently ravage my brain constantly. Because the whole situation is really annoying.

In some news, I don't like Boy (see "Well at Least It's Almost the 15th" since I don't have a 'Cast of My Life' list). Not 'like like'...just in case you were wondering...Or so...NO. I used to, but he's kinda dumb. But that's ok because we're still friends (or at least I think so).  He says he misses me but I always have to remind him that we are going to hang out (I MEAN REALLY. GET A PLANNER OR SOMETHING), which normally gets botched by some outside force (a.k.a., region-typical inconvenient weather timing, family, ect). Hence, guys are idiots. Except for one guy. We'll call him...Black Cat? BC for short? Because black cats are strange in their own way as far as everything goes, yet somehow still very cool. Or at least I think so. And they are also potential bad luck. Although fairly unconventional, he's pretty cool. Or maybe I just lean towards the oddballs because I'm an oddball. But I don't 'like' him . Or at least I don't think I do. I mean I don't really know him all that great, and Facebook friends+rediculous conversations in class don't really mean anything. Plus as far as attractiveness goes its a not really. But regardless I'd definitely like to be friends. Hopefully he's in my math class next trimester so that I can have a partner for things that isn't a total moron. So yeah. BC.

*Side note, if you see something about M, I'm talking about my exchange student.

Did I mention that my 'mom' (I consider many-well actually, not many...only like 2.5?- people to be my non-biological mother.) is pregnant? (One is already preggo and she's about fit to burst) I'm really happy for her :)

Also, I can feel myself pulling away from my family. I'm starting to be one of those people who only live at their house when they're sleeping (half the time I come home and my family has already eaten dinner). My mom complains that I don't ever want to be home and that I'm distant, but I really feel like I can't handle them. All they do is criticize and yell so I'm a little sick of it. I think they're bipolar. Plus, being around them gives me a headache. Hence, I fill my schedule with plans  (which draws complaints and criticism from my mom) and leave the house. Now that I can drive, everything is just a matter of permission. I wish I was one of those people who's super close with their family but I'm really just not. My dad is too far away to really be close or feel any comfort from him, so if I'm not close to my mom or my youngest sister, and then my middle sister seems to only care when it's convenient for her, so....the animals? But anyways...

So that's all I can think of to mention right now, even though there are a million things racing through the ol' noggin right now, it's not really anything that is worth or possible to type about.

Peace like a River ;)

Raven