Damn old people can never drive.
#almost killed

#

That awkward moment when you want to curl up with a box of habenero peppers and eat them until your insides melt.

Things are looking up!

Yes. OPTIMISM! Almost unheard of. I know. But I'll throw in my pessimist two cents and then get back to the festivities. School is killing me. Too much homework and then end of a trimester plus continuous class missing is extremely obnoxious.

BUT

1. I made VARSITY BASKETBALL! For the first time in my life :D I have to thank my amazing personal coach dude because he also put in the early mornings and sacrificed summertime to help me out with basketball. Now I just have to keep up the hard work. Who knows? Maybe I'll even start! Cross your fingers.

2. I am friends with 3 exchange students at my school. Internationality is a big yes and I love other cultures. They're so interesting.

3. Never throwing anything away apparently isn't SUCH a bad thing because guess what? Apple recalled their FIRST GENERATION iPod nanos. If my iPod from 5TH GRADE that has been sitting in my drawer for eons fits their criteria I may just get a brand new iPod nano for FREE. YIPPADOODLEDOO!

Oddly enough I'm more excited about the nano than the basketball and friends. How nerdy and item-whoreish of me. Oh well. Here's to hoping!

Peace like a River ;)
Raven

Nothing like playing God of War 2 after a couple good romance movies. :)

Apparantly cows are evil and horses are "absolutely nasty motherfuckers" according to Guillermo Del Torro

Spin the Wheel of Fortune

Is chat roulette filled with creepers? Yes. Does that mean that I can't have a quality conversation at 1am with a Chinese man who works for the Cisco project? Absolutely not. And even though he was definitely google translating the shit out of our conversation, I respect him for trying. we talked about movies and stuff. It was fun. But then I remembered that I had half a page out of my four page paper done.

Peace like a River ;)
Raven

French is the new black

I feel like a psycho for spending hours stalking the French culture. But I love it SO MUCH. Youtube, blogs, French TV websites....I like to pretend that I understand them all but there is definitely some Google Translating going on. And online dictionaries. And google.fr searches. But that's how you learn isn't it?
This guy is by far my favorite so if you understand ANY French (or just want to look at his fantastic face) you should check him out.

Oh Cyprien, if I see you when I go to France (which, may I add is in less than 250 days?) you better watch out.

Because I'm going to kidnap you. ;3





Peace like a River ;)
Raven

Yawn snore what a bore.

I want you to want me....

Hooray for depression.

Did I mention that I made a hole in yet another door? Now I'm out like...$200 :(

Peace like a River ;)
Raven

I like to think I'm complicated.

Homework is for the Weak.

I really need to get control of myself. I'm a total psychopath. But who needs to actually do things when you can NOT do them and get in trouble. :D

You know I've been sitting here contemplating being a secret admirer? Even if it was someone that I didn't even like that much. I think it would be a really interesting social experiment. Especially if I knew the person. I could stick perfumed notes in their locker and then eventually tell them to meet me somewhere. You know what I would do after that? I would disguise myself and kiss them when they showed up and then run away.

These are the things I think about when I should be paying attention.

That and how much I like people. And how I will be judged for this liking (you know how people are). And how they probably hate me for real. Just like most people probably do. AND how weird I am. And how someone is gonna find this thing and the shit will hit the fan.

BY THE WAY
Teenage girls are worse than 40 year old women because we are just as desperate for love (even though we don't really have a ticking clock). But a LOT less stable.

Peace like a river ;)
Raven

Um apparantly Andy Whitfield died? WTFH. Why didn't I know this?! :'( I'm sad now.

Psh.

I guess it's time I do a real post, isn't it?

SCHOOL STARTED. Yep that's right. Typical teenage bitching and moaning about the institution that our parents have shoved us in "for our own good". So that means that it's my job to be wonderfully compliant with what everyone expects from me and go look at fancy pants schools and see their fancy programs. Not gonna lie, some of them are genuinely interesting. Even so- I feel like the excitement building for college (by the way, being a Junior is like this one run I've done a few times. You get to stop right past the bridge but it doesn't get any closer...until it looms over you about to collapse at the last second and suffocate you) is kind of a scam. It will probably be boring and lame like high school, just in a more diluted solution. I'm dramatic. Just one of the many things that I really don't like about myself. I know my friends know that I'm a pain in the ass BUT I just can't help myself. How I manage to get people to talk to me I will never know. They say I'm funny but it's probably more like watching a mildly entertaining psychopath. That's why they think it's funny. If i could describe myself I would but I can't-at least not very well. I still manage to feel horribly conceited and like I talk about myself all the time. That's what I'm doing right now isn't it? But I always feel like an asshole for saying good things about myself. Therefore I hate myself with a passion. :)

So BC. Still kind of like him....or do like him. But it also seems like we're more alike than is probably a good thing because that means most of our conversations are small because we're both horribly awkward socially. Plus he REALLY likes this other person, which of course is understandable because she's pretty much epic as far as I can tell (he told me so-plus i knew it before he told me[I'd like to say that I'm intuitive but it'd be a lie. Either way, I can tell]). Even if I don't like him I want to be his best friend (this position is also taken) and I'm pretty sure my other friends know it. But I can't help myself. He happens to be like an entertaining mystery that I sort of figure out but that figuring out is probably a lie. But he asked me for advice :D (and probably asked like five other people. Again with the not actually counting).
AND when I was driving him home at 1am we were talking and I maybe kind of let it slip that I sort of did this (as in this website) BUT I didn't tell him anything otherwise and he didn't ask. I want him to like me :X but these things don't happen except in TV and movies which everyone tries to be like even though they're total bullshit. So there you go. Excited and awkward and lame and confused.

I've just decided to become one of those creepy stalker girls that follows people around and sends them a million texts and devotes their lives to making other people uncomfortable because maybe someday instead of being the lame little weirdo somebody will fall for my tricks and like me. Too bad I can't flirt for shit.


Did I mention that sometimes people really start to bother me, and when they do it is AWFULLY HARD for me to convince myself not to hate them? It really is a fast procession into doom. Not that anyone would really care.

I feel depressed.

I think I'm going to die alone.

Maybe I'll move to Africa and study ants.

Peace like a River ;)
Raven

Why is classical music the only helpful thing other than a teacher when it comes to math?

Parades aren't as fun once you're "too old for candy" :(

This is my face when back-to-school shopping with my idiot circus (family) >:|

Nothing like rearranging your room to enforce that "practically a hoarder" status ;)

I suck.

I suck. At everything. I have no positive attributes. I pretend to belong like a spineless loser.

omfg my family is annoying as hell. WHY did I come home again?

Hi my name is Raven.I am nothing but a worthless loser.The only thing I'm good at is making my mother hate me. Because of my failure, I don't deserve anything.

My sister makes me depressed :'(

Pop 3 advils and down a soda-new solution to late night sleep deprivation

Some insight:

I should change the name of this blog to "Sports and French Music" because that is what my life has become. haha

*stab*

Did I mention that my family makes me feel like a worthless asshole and I'm pretty sure that being home is half the reason why I feel so depressed half the time?

Im about to go to class and have this kid tell me i look tired. Just like he does every day.

Do i evr hav an answer? A rhyme or reason for what makes my world spin, my heart stop, feet march, soul sing?

My rebel cry!

Maybe I'll make some choices and maybe I won't. Not sure why but I suppose it's better than getting to college and being by myself. It will be interesting.

Change of Plans

As of right now, I don't think I like anyone. Regardless of what has or has not been said. So therefore, I am single even within my mind (can't say the same for Tulsa who is having issues). I even consulted Hank. He's the hedgehog on the bottom of my page (I'll wait for you to scroll down). But all he said was *hop* *hop* *HOP* *roll* Men. e.e <-- eye-rolling face for those of you who don't know.

But I just thought I would let you know that I am toute seule (that means 'all alone' in French. It's pronounced 'toot sull') since I am up at 1:30 A.-MOTHER F*CK*NG-M. Doing homework. Surprise surprise.

Workaholic pie anyone?

I will continue to be a faithful romantic and watch a bunch of romance movies in the meantime. Did I mention that I've almost started crying at TV shows? Movies hasn't happened yet but I sobbed like a baby when my Frenchie left (remind me to fill you in later) and I almost started crying about an episode of Greek.

High school has made me soft. >.<

But REALLY need some sleep so....

Peace Like a River ;)
Raven

Somebody please tell me why I'm up at 1:30 for the 2nd night in a row? FML

Have I mentioned that I like tattoos?

Ok so Adam Levine's tats? HOT.    

So I've eaten through half a choco bunny, 2 trays of peeps and god knows what else just because my frenchie left. I dont want to see me after a breakup :(

So much for Sleuth >:(

Tulsa said she already knew that I liked BC. That's TOTALLY bogus. :(
And if she knew that then my other BFF Amie DEFINITELY knows since I've talked to her about him the most (which in my opinion is still not even that much). And whoever the hell else. For being able to keep other people's secrets I obviously can't keep my own. This makes me wonder how obvious I am to the actual people also. Does he notice that I'm generally smiling when I talk to him? Do I invade his personal space? Does his friend Princess Perfect notice these things in the class where we all sit by each other? Does he like Princess Perfect? These things are so....stressful. And pointless and ridiculous.

So YES. I think I like him. There. I said it. So what. But he's just so....different it makes me not want to like him. Plus I don't want to listen to my friend's hating on him. I don't like him because I think he's cute. I mean I've seen his eyes like...once. I think they're blue. A cool blue. But anyways, he's very cool in a 'beat of your own drum' way. But slightly emo punker. Except I feel like I have to compete with his actual cool people that he talks to just so that I can be his friend (not that he ignores me. I'm just weird).
So there. Revelation for the night.

Peace like a River ;)
Raven

Me: How does Hitler tie his shoes?
Giant Sister: He makes Jews do it?
Me: ummmm.....no? With little Nazis...lol
my family is rediculous

This face ---> :| is the story of my life.

So BC's Facebook went to 'in a relationship'. Not gonna lie. I'm a little bit crestfallen.

On the bright side, 'lucre' (meaning money or profit) , the word of the day (March 30th) on dictionary.com just got pronounced as "loo-c*phlem*" in my head rather than "loo-ker" like it was supposed to be. Thank you French. Just kidding. But only about the bright side thing.

But anyways (see the story before I started talking about lucre) it doesn't really matter because I don't like him. So there. Although I don't ever really feel the need to completely contain myself when I'm around him (not in a weird gross way, just in a...we can talk about how a Pokemon evolves without me feeling like I shouldn't act like such a nerd or something sort of way). So who the hell knows? Obviously not me. Either way it's like a little baby ember of like. Not a big fire of like.

All I've decided is that for me, love (or like, or even infatuation. And it doesn't even have to be LOVE love. It can be like....friend love) is like a hole. A DEEP hole with unstable edges. It's generally pretty easy for me (especially being a klutz) to fall into the hole, and not quite so easy to get back out. Maybe that's why I have trust problems. Because it's not like I've ever been REALLY hurt by someone.

So today's motto is:
WHO THE HELL KNOWS


Peace like a River ;)
Raven

If this kid continues to bring a harmonica to class, I will shove it down his throat.

The sensibility of e.e. Cummings is debatable in the first place, but trying to make sense of it and translate with spotty bilingual skills doesnt really help.

Obviously my mental condition is failing and my emotions are too terribly influenced by TV shows. When did I get so rediculous?

I Gotta Feelin...

So I just got back from my friend Tulsa's birthday party. It was a big fancy event and it was really nice and she looked gorgeous (she's super pretty anyways and I kinda feel like a loser but that's beside the point) you know, fancy dress fancy hair...everything. So it was like dinner and then a dance party. It was decent even though I don't really like dancing and half the time I felt super awkward. I didn't really get to talk to her that much since she spent a lot of the night with K, her bff and also mingling with other peeps. Which is fine because I don't need her to babysit me but we haven't really hung out (which I kinda feel like is my fault) so that was kind of a bummer. Also I feel bad because I didn't have time to wrap her gift so I didn't bring it to the party. That's me....the responsible one. (Loser)
Also the guy she likes asked her out so now she has a beau :)
Back to the Loser Club we go. As in the super lame 'our parties are really just 6 of us watching movies' single goody good lame-o club. (Tulsa is the cool one) It only sort of makes me feel like a panicky desperate teenager acting like life is running out on them because I am ridiculously boring. Maybe I'll just go on a drinking partying guy binge this summer or something. Maybe.

I still haven't done anything for my birthday (as I'm reminded constantly by my friends) but I'll probably (maybe) do something when M the exchange student comes. That'd be cool wouldn't it? It wouldn't be nearly as extravagant but it could be OK. It'd just be like....a day party with a buncha people. Even Boy. And whoever else I feel like. Maybe even BC! But we'd have to see about that one. I feel like it'd just seem awkward to him. But he could talk to M since he speaks French and it'd be all good. WOOPEEE! But I have to clear it by my madre so we'll see how THAT goes. Because she's OH so gracious.

Peace like a River ;)
Raven

Funny how i cant drive to xy and z but i can drive to lil caesars and take my sister to her friend's house? Mmk mom.

Even though kissing is such a big deal for many cultures around the world, you know, first kiss freak out and the ever reoccurring "WELL DID YOU KISS?" sort of questions....

Did you know that on average we spend about two whole weeks of our life kissing, and we spend equally as much time sitting at red lights?  (versus the like double-digits in years we spend sleeping and such, but that's beside the point.) Red lights are a pretty...minor thing...And they share the same time amount. Just something to think about.

I would ask how my 91% turned into a 98%, but frankly I don't care.

If dimples are a dominant gene, then why are they so damn cute?

Oh the things you can think.

I should make a machine to make up my mind. And to get rid of some of these thoughts that virulently ravage my brain constantly. Because the whole situation is really annoying.

In some news, I don't like Boy (see "Well at Least It's Almost the 15th" since I don't have a 'Cast of My Life' list). Not 'like like'...just in case you were wondering...Or so...NO. I used to, but he's kinda dumb. But that's ok because we're still friends (or at least I think so).  He says he misses me but I always have to remind him that we are going to hang out (I MEAN REALLY. GET A PLANNER OR SOMETHING), which normally gets botched by some outside force (a.k.a., region-typical inconvenient weather timing, family, ect). Hence, guys are idiots. Except for one guy. We'll call him...Black Cat? BC for short? Because black cats are strange in their own way as far as everything goes, yet somehow still very cool. Or at least I think so. And they are also potential bad luck. Although fairly unconventional, he's pretty cool. Or maybe I just lean towards the oddballs because I'm an oddball. But I don't 'like' him . Or at least I don't think I do. I mean I don't really know him all that great, and Facebook friends+rediculous conversations in class don't really mean anything. Plus as far as attractiveness goes its a not really. But regardless I'd definitely like to be friends. Hopefully he's in my math class next trimester so that I can have a partner for things that isn't a total moron. So yeah. BC.

*Side note, if you see something about M, I'm talking about my exchange student.

Did I mention that my 'mom' (I consider many-well actually, not many...only like 2.5?- people to be my non-biological mother.) is pregnant? (One is already preggo and she's about fit to burst) I'm really happy for her :)

Also, I can feel myself pulling away from my family. I'm starting to be one of those people who only live at their house when they're sleeping (half the time I come home and my family has already eaten dinner). My mom complains that I don't ever want to be home and that I'm distant, but I really feel like I can't handle them. All they do is criticize and yell so I'm a little sick of it. I think they're bipolar. Plus, being around them gives me a headache. Hence, I fill my schedule with plans  (which draws complaints and criticism from my mom) and leave the house. Now that I can drive, everything is just a matter of permission. I wish I was one of those people who's super close with their family but I'm really just not. My dad is too far away to really be close or feel any comfort from him, so if I'm not close to my mom or my youngest sister, and then my middle sister seems to only care when it's convenient for her, so....the animals? But anyways...

So that's all I can think of to mention right now, even though there are a million things racing through the ol' noggin right now, it's not really anything that is worth or possible to type about.

Peace like a River ;)

Raven

It'd be nice to be a priority once in a while...

Yeah mom, it's MY FAULT some shithead paintballed the car. That's what I get for trying to get you out of the house. Fuck you.

Illness is in full swing. Of what nature? The jury's still out.

Never keep a pregnant lady from her oreos ;D

I feel depressed and I'm pretty sure theres not a even a reason for it.

I dont think that "give in to some cravings" rule for dieting really works for homework...

Well at least it's almost the 15th

And so passes another valentine-less Valentine's Day. Boy said he "misses me so so much" although he has yet to show for a game or make a playdate.

Questionable?

I think spare me the word splicing and either let's chill or drop it. I'm sick of empty smiley faces.

**UPDATE**
So texting and there is a promise of plans. Except that it's open ended because he "just wants to see me"
*cue obnoxious little internal flitter at absolutely nothing (I say nothing because we haven't hung out in a really long time. So that means NOTHING)*

 [Especially after I just watched an episode of Glee that involved lots of conversations on imaginary faux relationships, coupled with my disillusioned mind, I'm just going to take the 'trick your brain into thinking"Who gives a shit? Not me." ' route]

I don't like open ended because then it seems like its MY FAULT if nothing happens. Either way, TAIS-TOI MON COEUR (shut up, my heart) is the name of the game. There's actually a song called that! SEE? (yeah I still suck at embedding...)


(Perfect for Valentine's Day isn't it?)

**UPDATE TO THE UPDATE**
Well I probably should've just started a new post, but the internet can suck it. (Not really! PLEASE DON'T GO :'(  )

But anyways we 'have plans'. As in, two very passive decision makers are trying to make plans which ends up being ME doing the planning. So who has to find a midway point between Town A and Town B? Raven. Who has to find a good place to go at that midway? Raven. Woopee. Oh well. As long as there isn't a freak weather meltdown (like there was LAST TIME we were going to hang) All will be OK. Hopefully.

You're playing JV tomorrow=you're sitting on JV bench for an hour tomorrow so that you're chained to the basketball games until 10pm. :] Sucks to be you.

Valentine's Day! ....Oh and some other stuff too.

Ok so funny thing. For all of the "It's just another day. Who cares?" and "Less drama!" and all the other words of wisdom about being on Struggle Bus: Relationship Edition, I can't help but be a little bit saddened by another Valentine's Day of singledome. And I DON'T EVEN LIKE VALENTINES DAY! (Which may be not so great for a hopeless romantic but you know what? FoRgEt YoU!) Maybe I have bitter old cat lady syndrome and that's why I don't like it. I wouldn't know.

OTHERWISE,

I just worked at a girl's traveling basketball tourney all weekend (I worked at least 20 hours between Saturday and Sunday....) and let me tell you. I don't know HOW parents can sit through an entire season of little kid basketball because I definitely wanted to throw myself off a bridge after ONE. And I worked clocks for EIGHT HOURS. HELP.

The rest of my life hasn't been that interesting in other spheres....because there are none.
What a LOOOOSER right?

Peace like a river ;)
Raven

Je Te Montres Ma Musique.

So I'm going to randomly post music on here. You don't like it? TOO BAD.

UNFORTUNATLY, until I can get Youtube and Blogger to stop conspiring against me (a.k.a. when I'm NOT supposed to be writing History essays and I actually have time to do these things) You're going to have to click the link and listen to the song without it being beautifully presented on my post. Sorry.

Why is Death Cab for Cutie so CHILL?!

...

*sigh* :3

Don't you just LOVE music?

Peace like a river ;)
Raven

Ok so even though the 'box of chocolates' gesture is appreciated and delicious and stuff, people do realize that they're spending like 30 bucks on 20 CANDIES?!

Guess who can drive?!

Holy FUCK. My dad is going to be here in less than 24 hours...

Dear M, your emails made sense until the last part of the second one. I don't know if you just stopped wanting to speak legit english or what but....ok?

Just Sayin....

I don't know if people find this offensive but I myself don't quite see the hype in baby pictures. And I don't mean like "look at Johnny at 6 months! AWW!" I mean like "look at my unborn child!" Like I do? But I don't. I understand that it is exciting in some ways, and that the mother probably is all excited at the thought but to other people, they tend to look like black, white, and grey lines. Occasionally they look like babies. Later on. Maybe it's because I haven't been prego (thank God.). Who knows. Either way, I will still look at your ultrasounds because I know that it is exciting for you, and depending on who you are, it may even be a TAD exciting for me.

But I still don't get it.

Peace like a river ;)
Raven

Awwww! My dog decided to lay with me! Only problem is that heprobably just trampled EVERYTHING on my bed. plus im trying to do homework.

Mon Nouveau Meilleur Ami

Did I mention that I'm getting an exchange student? He's from France in a "small village" (that will be interesting. He says they have one bakery and then a pizza truck comes every Tuesday. Jeeze.) And he finally replied to his email!

AHHHH! PARTAAAAAY!

He's obviously got a little bit of a smart ass sense of humor seeing as I told him that I was in my second year of French and he replied that he was in his 16th. I can appreciate that. I really can. He said he couldn't reply sooner because he was grounded from the internet for a bad mark (a.k.a. bad grade) That's unfortunate. Whatever though. I'm

EXCITED

April can't come soon enough.

Peace like a river ;)
Raven

Speaking of which...

For the whole however much of my brain that is definitely a hopeless romantic, I sure as hell should tally myself under 'skeptic' also. I mean with all the nightmares it's a little hard to trust the fairy tales. That goes for most things actually. I mean...even though it sounds kind of crazy maybe I wonder how much people talk to me just as a putting up with them sorta thing. I dunno. Whatever. Point is that stuff is too crazy to only believe one side of the story. Just sayin.

Peace like a river ;)
Raven

My mom has finally learned the key to motivation. Want $25? Do this.

So they definitely were the Buffalo Bison.

Bison burgers anyone? ;)

Do you think a high school called Buffalo would be the Buffalo Bison?

Introductions are always AWKWARD...

What's up. I'm Raven Waters. Walking oxymoron (yeah YOU! MORON!) Contradiction....that is. Opposites. For those of you who don't know. I'm a slacking over achiever and that's how it rolls! Sleep? Who needs it? I eat homework for breakfast lunch and dinner. I LIVE for my sports. No joke. So most posts may be via text, few and far between, who knows!? So if there's no title, that's PROBABLY what's happening. Don't worry. Sometimes the tag or whatever will be 'Life on the go' but hey. I'm human. I forget. DEAL WITH IT.

There are always tons of side thoughts (like this) and side thoughts within side thoughts (I wonder how things (that I'm not supposed to talk about yet...) are coming along?) and spelling, grammar, general lazy errors and random big letters. Because I'm a spaz. :)

Oh and I'm also...
Obsessed with French.


So bon voyage! Au revoir! Soyanara (how is that spelled? anyone?)! Adios! Adeu!

Until next time o.o (insert creepy face)


Peace like a River ;)
Raven

Theres a text in the template for blogs called 'slackey' and I hope they're not talking bout SLACKERS because no slacker would make block letters ALL THE TIME.

Productiveness 101

don't. doodle. don't. doodle. don't. doodle. DON'T. DOODLE.

This is what I do in math class. What else do I do? Doodle.

Who needs drawing skills if you're good with photoshop?

I've reached the pinnacle of insanity...
Mom: you'd rather go to practice than go out on your birthday?!
Me: well......yes.
Mom: ... :/

:'D awwwww

Rodents make terrible pets. Or at least if you're me they do.

Contrary to popular belief, "It's almost bedtime so finish your homework." DOESN'T make my homework go away OR finish itself. So SHUT THE HELL UP.

Dear Basketball, Everyone humbly requests that you quit being an asshole. Use the free time you steal to make a machine replacing our lost sleep.
Still<3 you!
Me.

I think the concept of 'potential' is at least 50% bullshit

You know how sometimes you try to tell yourself and others something but then you realize that you're probably lying? I HATE THAT.